TV Network Programming Directors - BITTER

I'm sure over the last 5 years you've noticed a little change in the programming lineups of the major TV networks. No, I'm not talking about the steady decline in the quality of shows on network TV culminating in NBC's decision to replace the grittiest hour of prime time, 10pm, with more watered down Jay Leno fare. I'm talking about the mysterious change in scheduling that has some of the more popular shows running 32 or 62 minutes. 

Are the TV shows longer? Nope. This was exposed years ago when NBC started running its Super-Sized  40 minute long episodes of Friends. Those were just filling in more ads. Why the change now then? I have a basic guess: DVRs. 

I theorize that this entire change in programming strategy was designed to screw with first generation DVRs, which a lot of people still have. By first generation, I mean that it can only record 1 show at a time and has no program overlap protection (clipping). By running shows 2 minutes long, it means that the viewer at home cannot record a show on NBC let's say at 9pm and then another show on ABC at 10pm. You can so it, but it would involve setting up a manual recording that will actually force you to start the 2nd program at 10:05pm. Setting up manual recordings was the thing that most people had trouble with when VCRs were popular, and I think the network heads know this. The plan is to screw up the DVR so it can only record the first show.

Of course, this only really worked for the first network that decided to do it. Once everyone was doing it, it stopped being an edge and even the first network was just as likely to have their shows manipulated out of viewership by the new system.

Thanks to companies like Tivo, we can now record multiple shows at the same time, partially fixing the problem. In addition, if a show runs 2 minutes over, the next show will start promptly 2 minutes in, automatically. Since usually this 2 minutes is the opening credits and the "previously on...." you don't miss much. The whole convoluted system just ends up being a pain in the ass that really has no benefit but that lots of people have to spend millions trying to fix for us, the home viewer.

Whoever was the first person to come up with concept and to all those who followed, you get a big BITTER.

A BETTER Way to Wait in Line

If your establishment has multiple registers, it would seem that there are 2 ways to setup the customer lines:

1. Individual lines at the registers. Let the customers decide which one to get on.
2. One line for all registers. The employees call the next customer in line.

For me, the clear choice is number 2. Having a single line eliminates all the anxiety of trying to choose the fastest line and all the analysis of the clerks and the people waiting on each line and how many items they have that goes along with it.

When you are waiting on "the slow line", nothing burns more than watching someone get on "the fast line" well after you and then seeing them leaving while you're still on line. If everyone is on the same line, there is no decision to be made and the line actually seems to move faster because someone is always moving up to a register.

The store that comes to mind as a winner in this area is Kohl's during the holidays. Normally they operate under scenario #1 but in the holidays, when everyone is particularly stressed and their lines are very long, the switch over to scenario #2.

Everyone who ever got burned on the slow line, especially by the deceptive looking person with only 1 item who is actually holding the place in line for a person with 50 items, let your voices be heard below! If you know of stores/restaurants/etc. that have great line setups, please post them.

Domino's Pizza Online Ordering - BETTER

In 1997, I remember going to the Pizza Hut website to check out some experimentation they were doing with online ordering. It wasn't widely available and it didn't really take off. At the time I remember thinking that the process was probably e-mail and couldn't possibly replace the phone order. Oh, how times have changed in a decade.

It wasn't Pizza Hut, but Domino's that really stepped up and made online ordering work. Like many things online, it really does take longer than picking up the phone but there is a level of control that you just can't replicate by having a conversation. I've happily spent 15 minutes ordering pizza on the Domino's website.

The first really cool feature is the pizza builder. The original release just allowed you to build your pizza without seeing it, although a more recent release changed that. As a customer you can really "have it your way" to take a slogan from Burger King. An example of a pizza I frequently get: "Thin Crust, half plain cheese pizza, half with no cheese plus pineapples and ham". I almost always get a follow up phone call on that one because Domino's wants to be sure I didn't make a mistake. I placed that order tonight and got a phone call within 1 minute. That's instantaneous response in my book.

As if being able to build my order, apply coupons, and even pay for delivery pizza on a credit card wasn't good enough, Domino's took it to the extreme by adding a "pizza tracker" to their website. This is an online display that tells you whether your order is in one of the following stages:

1. Processing
2. Prep
3. Baking
4. Boxing
5. Out for Delivery

It even tells you when it left on delivery and who took it. I love it and my kids love it. Whenever I order from Domino's (sometimes I really want pizzeria pizza), I leave it up on the screen so that my oldest can watch for the changes in status. It really does what Domino's intended for it to do, which is to lessen the anxiety over how much time it has taken between the order and the receipt of the food.

Did you know that inside Domino's they have a video screen that shows them how they are performing in customer service against all other Domino's restaurants in real time? Good committment right there.

I should point out, in case I get feedback from Pizza Hut saying they offer similar features, they do. It looks like they tried very hard to copy what Domino's did, but they fell far short. The website was sub-par and unreliable. I could not be bothered with it after 2 failed attempts on separate occassions.

Domino's, for mastering the online ordering process and actually turning it into "an experience", you have won a loyal customer away from Pizza Hut and get a BETTER.

Zappos.com - BETTER

My wife has ordered shoes from Zappos.com in the past and I never heard of any problems, but I'd never actually ordered anything myself.

So this past week I had a big professional event to attend in New York. The one thing I realized with just a few days to go was that I really needed to get a new pair of shoes. I was literally getting ready to go out and hit Macy's when my wife said I should just go on to Zappos' website. She told me they always give overnight shipping and I would have the shoes on time.

I went to the website and it is pretty easy to use. They have great filters by size, color, style, and others that really narrow down the options for you. They also make it very clear that they have a "free returns" policy to break down that barrier of fear most people would have buying shoes they have not tried on. I was a bit nervouse myself since my shoes are a 10 1/2 but my sneakers are 11 1/2.

I actually found 2 pairs of shoes I liked and ordered them both. The shipping said it could be 5 days or so, but again my wife reassured me. I figured I would get both, see which one I liked once I had them, and I'd send the 2nd pair back.

Sure enough, I did get the shoes the next day. I picked a pair, which I actually think I owned once before, and everything worked out.

Zappos.com, for having the foresight to break down barriers for customers and allowing them to essentially mimic the in-store experience in their living rooms, you get a BETTER.

Corn Refiners Run Ads for High Fructose Corn Syrup - BITTER

So I saw the following commercial on television the other day:

I was completely blown away. An organization called the Corn Refiners Associations is trying to combat all the negative press given to High Fructose Corn Syrup by attempting to convince people that not only is it safe for our kids, but that you just might be a moron if you believe otherwise. I did provide a link above to their website above, but be warned. It is a propaganda machine, hard at work. 

The woman in the ad says that HFCS is fine in moderation. I offer anyone reading this blog a challenge. Go into your pantry and/or refrigerator and start scanning the labels of the food items you have for some variation on high fructose corn syrup. I'll warn you. You are going to find it a lot. I'll give you 2 items that surprised me the most: Ketchup and Bread. And then it made perfect sense to me why kids love to dip everything in ketchup. There is a secret sweetener in there. 

Because corn is subsidized by the government, it supplanted sugar as the sweetener of choice by manufacturers. The problem is, it is HYPER processed and your body does not digest it anywhere near as easily as regular sugar. You may have noticed things like "cane soda" or even bottles of "blue agave" sweetener in your local supermarket. These are products made from either sugar cane or other natural sugars. Even these should be consumed in moderation, but they are far more natural than the typical HFCS product.

Unless you completely control your diet and make everything you eat at home, you are going to consume some high fructose corn sugar. To that extent, it's really not going to be a problem. However, I personally have started scrutinizing the labels of almost all the foods I buy from the supermarket, especially for my kids. One of the best brands is Annie's Homegrown, which has lots of great products that don't contain HFCS. They carry it at ShopRite, Whole Foods, and even Amazon.com. Yes, they make ketchup too.

If you want to learn a bit more about the food industry and how corn (and most industrially processed food products) is killing us, I highly recommend reading Michael Pollan's, "In Defense of Food" and "The Omnivore's Dilemma".

Corn Refiners Associations, you get a BITTER.

If you want a little more information, Consumer Reports did a write up on this ad as well.

Hampshire Self Storage Rents Out Customer Parking - BITTER

If you ever had to load or unload anything from a door into a car (or vice versa) you understand that the closer the car is to the door, the better. And so starts the story of Hampshire Self Storage.

There are numerous entrances to the storage building so that you can enter as close to your individual unit as possible. Parking spaces line almost the entire outside of the building for customer convenience.

Unfortunately, somebody decided to start renting out the parking spaces without really considering the impact on the customers who actually have storage units. Today, I saw boats on trailers, snow plowing vehicles, commercial vehicle like plumbers vans, and numerous race team trailers and pickup trucks. These vehicles are all parked in the spaces closest to the entrances. While there are, in fact a few numbered spaces on one side of the lot, Hampshire has decided that there is more money to be made.

I actually have no problem with that. I just want them to do it in a way that has the least impact on customers. I went into the office and spoke with someone who was working. I asked if, as a courtesy to the customers, they could get the owners of these vehicles to park them in the spaces furthest from the doors. The response I got was very casual. "The thing is, there are no numbers on the spaces and these guys bring the vehicles in at night, so there's nothing we can do."

I couldn't believe what a defeatist attitude this was. Sure there is something that can be done. Paint enough numbers on enough spaces to allocate an assigned space to each person renting a parking space. Problem solved with about $10 worth of paint and a brush. Instead, they end up annoying the regular customers who actually have a need for those particular spaces near the door, some of which, like me, have been customers for almost 10 years spending thousands of dollars with them.

I know that the average person doesn't really feel empowered at work, but with at least 3 rival storage facilities within 5 miles, I would think that Hampshire would be more customer friendly.

I won't even get into the story about how I discovered that the prices on the units had been lowered only to be told that the onus is on the customer to find that info out and have their rental rate changed....

Hampshire Self Storage, for not caring enough to manage your parking lots properly, you get a BITTER.

Organics Turkish Bath Towels by Crate and Barrel - BITTER

Ok. So I like buying organic. I get organic food when its available and I try to get my kids clothes made from organic cotton (do you have any idea how many chemicals are used in making a traditional cotton shirt?). 

So I go into Crate and Barrel looking for some organic bedding which I saw online. I could never buy sheets without touching them. So the sheets are alright but they are mail order only, so I figure I'll get them online. While I'm there though, I thought I'd replace some towels that were fraying. 

I saw the Organics Turkish Bath Towels. They felt really great so I bought them.  Here's the weird part. I used the towels for the first time today, and they simply do not get you dry. The towels do not absorb any of the water. They just move it around your skin. Maybe the friction is supposed to dry you off. I have never experienced anything like that in a bath towel. Hand towel? Same deal. My wife tried the towels with the same results. 

To add insult to injury, the towels shed. I was covered in ivory colored lint after I used the things, and yes, I did wash and dry them before use.

I threw out the receipt because I was certain the towels would be great. I mean, who has ever heard of a towel that doesn't get you dry. That's the whole purpose of the towel. I guess Crate and Barrel engineered the drying right out of the towels. Hopefully they can look it up on my credit card or something.

So I was planning on buying the sheets, like I said, but after my experience with the towels, I'll be looking elsewhere for my organic sheets. Anyone got any recommendations?

Crate and Barrel, since you sold me towels that don't absorb water for a very premium price, you get a big BITTER and a lost order.