Sunday, June 19, 2011

Joe's American Bar & Grill - BITTER

Went to Joe's American Bar & Grill tonight for dinner in Paramus, NJ. It sucked, plain and simple. I'll give them this. The hostess and who I believe was a manager were super nice when I came in. They set up my family's table promptly and I was seated right away. If I had gotten up and left right away, I would have nothing but good things to say.

However, we went there to eat and so we stayed. Our waitress came out and took the drink order, read us the specials and then took our meal order very kindly. The drinks took a bit longer than I would have guessed and shortly after that she told us that she would bring out some bread for the table. Within a few minutes, a different woman brought a hot loaf of bread to the table, fresh from the oven and some butter. After she left, which was very promptly, we realized that we had no place settings on the table. It took us at least 5-10 more minutes to get the attention of our waitress who sighed when I told her we had no utensils or plates to use for the bread. She brought them out right away and apologized.

It would have been a whole different story if the bread was sliced for us when it was brought to the table. At least then we could have eaten it while we waited. I really hate that some places now make you cut the bread yourself. Again, it would be one thing if they brought you a bread knife. No. They don't do that. They want you to use an extremely blunt butter knife to slice through the hard crust of an otherwise highly compressible loaf of bread. When you are done cutting it, you get to hand off that smooshed mess to your family member who then tries to figure out where to put the butter on it!

One slice of bread cut and handed off and the food is delivered to the table. I couldn't help but laugh openly. The guy who brought the first 2 dishes (yes, now a 3rd person) was confused why the other 2 dishes were not behind him. He said that maybe the guy (I guess a 4th) must have gotten lost on the way to the table. I said, yeah, just like the plates. The food finally arrived and after I finished my piece of bread I decided to dig in to my Bacon Cheeseburger.

First, if you are going to serve a burger disassembled, serve it disassembled. Do not lay the top bun partially over the bottom. When the patron goes to remove the top bun to put the lettuce and tomato on the burger, the cheese usually sticks to the top bun and comes apart making a big mess. Second, use a bun that is at least 90% of the size of the burger. This burger was falling all over out of the bun. Third, invest in a bun that can actually support the weight of the burger patty that you are going to put in it. And lastly, if your burgers are greasy as hell, make sure the bun is dense enough to absorb some of that without getting soggy and flattened.

Joe's American Bar and Grill does not adhere to these guidelines and so I had a soggy, flattened, greasy as hell burger with a mess of cheese all over. Literally, when I picked up the burger there was a pool of grease on the plate.

My son ordered the buttered noodles from the kids menu. The kids menu item comes with a beverage. We ordered a lemonade. When his food was delivered he needed a refill on the beverage because in his estimation, the cup had so much ice that he finished it in one sip. I believe it was server #3 who brought him the first refill of the lemonade. He started eating the noodles and immediately complained about them. I took a bite and while it wasn't awful, there was something different about it. I don't know if it was real butter sauce or some kind of substitute, but there was a pool of it at the bottom of the plate/bowl.

When the waitress came to check on us, I didn't even bother telling her about my burger, which was now about 1/2 eaten. I did tell her about the kids pasta and she agreed to take it back and remove it from the bill. My son said he didn't want anything else, just another lemonade. The waitress then said in a soft voice that the lemonade does not come with free refills. Say what the heck now? So she let me order my kid a drink with his meal that does not qualify as a free drink with the kids meal. Then the next guy, Server #3, gives me another without a comment. Now, on the 3rd, I'm being let in on the secret. I told her that it shouldn't matter because they are overloading the cup with ice and it's barely a sipful in it anyway. She brought another lemonade and said I wouldn't be charged for the refill.

Then, and you know I've got a pet peeve about this from a previous post, she asks if we're going to be wanting to indulge the "D" word. I said, "well, my son (different one) had a meal that includes it, right?" She said yes and then brought us a desert menu.

Desert was nothing special and eventually the bill came. Guess what was not removed from the bill? That's right. The pasta was still on it. I handed over my card and mentioned it to the waitress who blamed it on the manager for not taking it off. Maybe an honest mistake but maybe not. I paid the bill and left pretty quickly.

On top of all of the above, we had the delight of sitting next to who I imagine was the girlfriend of another waiter and her friend. Someone definitely needed to tell these girls to go easy on the perfume. The overbearingness of it just compounded the wait time for our food so that another smell could attempt to overpower it. Not the restaurants fault, but they definitely just sat there hanging around because of the boyfriend, so I'll go ahead and mention it.

For bad food and lackluster service (on Father's Day, no less), Joe's American Bar and Grill gets a greasy BITTER.

1 comment:

  1. I worked for Joe's. I hated that tag team wait service.

    ReplyDelete